Streets Ahead Industries

I've got this new blog I guess

2012-01-12T17:12:00.002-05:00

This might be kind of boring, but I've got this new blog where I write about what I read. I

Zine Index

2011-11-22T20:15:00.003-05:00

Here is an index of topics covered in ephemera hatch issue one. If you're interested in obtaining a copy, this is a good way to get an idea of what to expect.

INDEX:

Abstinence rallies: 15
AIDS: 15
Alcohol use, implied: 13
Alcohol use, explicit: 2, 19
Aliens: 6, 15
Almonds: 8
Armisen, Fred: 10
Bands, Imaginary: 16
Bill, Buffalo: 15
Birds: 14, 17, 19
Birthday cards: 8
Bob Newhart Show: 15
Book clubs: 2-3
C.K., Louis: 16
California: 2
Caps lock: 17
Clouds: 21
Coins: 17, 19
Costello, Elvis: 16
Crying Game, The: 15
CVS: 7-8
Deliverance: 7
Deltona: 7
Dogwood trees: 20
Draper, Don: 16
Dreadlocks: 8
Drunken fathers: 2
Eiffel Tower: 20
Fish: 3, 14
Flip-flops: 8
Florida: 20
Gardens: 5, 10-11, 12, 15, 18, 20
GIFs: 3
Green tea: 8
"Goodbye Horses": 15
Handball: 15
I-4: 7
Menstruation paraphernalia: 8
Moons: 14, 19
Musicians: 1, 5, 11
Netflix: 14
Oswalt, Patton: 6
Plastic Surgery: 2
Pollution: 14
Potentially fatal radio contest: 2
Pills, prescription: 2, 14
R. Kelly albums: 3
Romantic competition: 13
Romantic problems between living things: 9, 15, 17
Romantic problems between non-living things: 18
Salutations: 1, 4, 19
Shift key: 17
Sour cream and onion potato chips: 17
Speech emanating from things normally incapable of speech: 3, 9, 14, 18, 21
Statuary: 4, 18
Summer: 14
Swearing: 3
Tennis: 15
Thyme: 20
Tropicalia: 16
Typos, hand corrected: 2-3, 7-9, 16
Typos, uncorrected: 7-9
University of Central Florida: 7
Velvet Underground: 16
Warren, Robert Penn: 19
Water moccasins: 19
Winter: 19
Wizards, capricious: 17

zine

2011-11-21T22:10:00.005-05:00

ephemera hatch is a zine of prose/poetry/artwork/comics that I made.
There is a flash fiction piece about a budding sociopath, an essay about CVS, and a section of poems entitled "THIS IS POEMS!!!"

There are forty-five copies and if you want one leave me a message here, on Tumblr, or on Twitter.

Eight Brief Tales of Lovers

2011-09-22T12:16:00.002-04:00

Listen to and read about an EP I posted late last night that Streets Ahead will put out sometime in the near-ish future.

part one here

part two here

I hope you enjoy it.

So Sad Right Now

2011-07-23T16:27:00.002-04:00

Click on the picture to download a mix I put together of songs I listen to when "totally bummed out."

The mix is under my alter-ego "DJ So Sad Right Now." DJ So Sad Right Now's mixes aren't always sad, but this one is.

Track List:

1. "Heavy Water/I'd Rather Be Sleeping" by Grouper

2. "In Metal" by Low

3. "Endless Summer" by Still Corners

4. "Keen on Boys" by the Radio Dept.

5. "Where in the World Are You" by Great Lake Swimmers

6. "Blue Moon (Big Star Cover)" by Kendal Johansson

7. "Too Young (Tough Alliance Remix)" by Taken By Trees

8. "Gypsy (Fleetwood Mac Demo)" by Stevie Nicks

9. "Big White Cloud" by John Cale

news concerning my twitter gimmick

2011-07-20T10:29:00.004-04:00

I have created a new version of my Twitter gimmick theme song/sexting anthem.

You can listen to and download it here. It's a bit different than the last version and contains an eighties style voice synthesizer tone and maybe higher production value.

Also, Robert Svetlik has become the first person to record a cover of the song, which can be heard here.

If you would like to record your own cover, the chords are on my Twitter.

The last chord is not an A# as noted in the tweet, but a G#. However, Robert uses the A# and it sounds nice. If you do happen to record a cover, post it in the comments. I would love to hear it.

Twitter and Songs About Sexting

2011-07-14T13:33:00.005-04:00

As a Twitter gimmick, I tweeted the above tweet. So far it has only been retweeted once.

There are zero shirtless pictures of myself on the internet and I feel like that isn't fair to the approximately 2 billion people with shirtless pictures on the internet.

To support/advertise this Twitter gimmick, I wrote and recorded a song last night. It is something of a theme song for taking a topless picture of yourself.

You can download it here.

"Snoopy Contemplates Suicide," a Comic in Three Acts

2011-03-28T18:11:00.009-04:00

Two Poems I Read Recently and Liked Quite a Lot

2011-02-27T03:47:00.003-05:00

"Greta Gerwig cried onscreen and it seemed real"
by Stephen Tully Dierks

"Bone Woman"
by Carrie Lorig

I'm blogging these poems here because I've noticed people on Tumblr don't really "give an eff" when I post poems or about poetry.
Feel like most people don't care about poetry. This makes me kind of sad.

boys and girls and google

2011-02-26T15:03:00.006-05:00

click to enlarge

Blagentine's Day

2011-02-14T15:50:00.006-05:00

Every year for Valentine's Day, I put together a mix of songs that are about the opposite of Valentine's Day in order to help people keep perspective.
Here it is.
Tracklist:
"Sorry" by The-Dream (intro)
"Whatever Happened to Us" by Loudon Wainwright III
"When You Were Mine" by Dump
"I Never Learnt to Share" by James Blake (segue)
"Don't Fall in Love" by Still Corners
"To Love Somebody" by Nina Simone
"What Can I Say" by NRBQ
"My Marriage" by Woody Allen (segue)
"Wishing He Was Dead" by The Like
"Guest House" by Ghostface Killah featuring Fabolous
"You Lie You Cheat" by Spiritualized
"The Mermaid Parade" by Phosphorescent
"Girl Don't Come" by Sandie Shaw
"Femme Fatale" by Aloe Blacc
"You're Breaking My Heart" by Harry Nilsson (segue)
"Why You Wanna Treat Me So Bad" by Prince
"Only Love Can Break Your Heart" by St. Etienne
"I'm Left, You're Right, She's Gone" by Giorgio Moroder (segue)
"What Goes Around Comes Around" by Tony! Tony! Toné!
"Thousand Dollar Wedding" by Gram Parsons
"Can't You See" by J. Dilla
"Non Non Non" by Les Sultans

Destroyer's Kaputt Video

2011-01-05T21:50:00.003-05:00

I have heard three albums that have been/will be released in 2011. There's G-Side's amazing The One...Cohesive, James Blake's hype-fullfilling self titled debut, and Destroyer's Kaputt. It's an ambient-space-jazz-funk dream of an album, my favorite of the three. It takes a whole bunch of sounds previously thought to be too cheesy for "proper" art rock (sax solos, flutes, jazz-funk fusion) and integrates them flawlessly into Destroyer's palette.
Here's the video for the title track.

I am on

2011-01-04T17:31:00.004-05:00

Twitter
Tumblr
Bandcamp
Facebook (You've got to be a person I hated in high school to find this.)
Real Life
"Where You've Been Hiding" by Architecture In Helsinki
"That's Where It's At" by Sam Cooke
"You Will Find Me" by Micah P. Hinson

Christmas EP

2010-12-25T17:26:00.006-05:00

I recorded this EP in GarageBand. The songs sound a lot different from what I do as gleams, so I gave the project a different name. The cover art is above.
Here's the download link.

No Holiday/No Future/No Friends by Endless Teen
1. Snowed In
2. On Holiday
3. A Dime (Ice Cold Mix)
4. B & B Rap
5. Blue Blue Trisha Blue
6. The Science of Endless Teen
7. Swinger Club

SAT 001

2010-12-23T15:03:00.002-05:00

"))<>(( Forever" by gleams from Endless Teen.

2010-10-01T15:05:00.006-04:00

"Britain is a country haunted by its past. It is possessed by the memory of a golden age-- a time long ago when this country was the most powerful on Earth."-from "The Attic," part of BBC2's The Living Dead documentary series as referenced here.

"She's Bought A Hat Like Princess Marina" by The Kinks
"Parklife" by Blur
"Oh England My Lionheart" by Kate Bush

In other news, I just got my first DMCA "takedown notification" for this post (the songs now link to YouTube videos). I guess this means the blog is now LEGIT.

The craziest part of Sunday's Mad Men

2010-09-30T01:45:00.004-04:00

was definitely Lane's dad hitting him with a cane. Pow!

Now Lane knows how Charles Sumner felt.
Do I have to do everything for you? Look it up.

It's crazy how Charles Sumner was a BIG DEAL and now all anyone (i.e. me and now you, too) knows about him is that he got caned on the Senate floor and it had something to with slavery. I hope that in 10 years we don't look back at Lane and think of him as the guy on Mad Men who got caned. Let's remember him as the guy on Mad Men who dated a Playboy Bunny who used to be in 3LW.

Anyway, thanks to Videogum, Wikipedia, This Recording, and This Recording's Gif Party for the dope pics that I straight copied & pasted from their sites like A COLD KILLAH.

That is all.

(Yo, this is reposted from my Tumblr, which I use more often because I am a lazy dumb head.)

Connie Converse is an Artist Who Deserves Your Attention

2010-08-08T00:05:00.004-04:00

Connie Converse's fate is still unknown. If she's still alive, I wonder if she keeps tabs on her songs. Does she have a Google Alert set up?
More on this wonderful singer here and here.

2010-07-10T07:50:00.002-04:00

S-T-R-A-N-G-E

2010-07-03T03:48:00.002-04:00

The Mermaid Parade

2010-06-26T13:34:00.005-04:00

Last week was the Mermaid Parade. Dressed as mermaids, people gather and parade down the boardwalk of Coney Island. Phosphorescent has a beautiful, heartbreaking song set during the parade. I saw him play a devastating version of it before he released To Willie and I'd been waiting for the studio version ever since. His album Here's to Taking It Easy was released last month and on it is a version of this song that is already one of my favorites of the year.
The Mermaid Parade-Phosphorescent

Talkin' 'Bout Ladies

2010-06-23T02:34:00.004-04:00

Aubrey Plaza is real cute. And funny.
Yep.

Be Young (and Shut Up)

2010-06-22T03:52:00.005-04:00

I've been having dreams in which a 90 year-old Robert Frost commits suicide by self-immolation because gay marriage is illegal but charity auctions are allowed to sell humans.
Other reoccurring dreams find me socially ostracized for some ill-defined and uncontrollable reason (everyone either leaves the party together, or are in a play for which I didn't try out, or a part of a cult, or become 12 year-old girls in a living room who ignore me). I wake up feeling nervous and tired.
I woke up this morning and realized the summer had finally started. No more summer classes. I felt like throwing up.

"Don't Talk"- Bullion (The Beach Boys vs. J Dilla)
"I Can't Talk About It"- El Perro Del Mar
"Shut Up I Am Dreaming Of Places Where Lovers Have Wings"- Sunset Rubdown

Free Album

2010-04-20T14:20:00.003-04:00

This is that new gleams. Endless Teen.
Here are a couple of songs to sample:
Like Vultures-gleams
My Car-gleams
If you like these, you should download the whole set.

I Feel Like I'm About to Die

2010-04-19T02:11:00.002-04:00

Video Time

2010-04-14T16:16:00.001-04:00

Here's a new video from one of my favorite new bands of last year.

Photography Time

2010-03-05T15:33:00.005-05:00

Adolescence is a time when we begin to search out the structure of adulthood. What we are supposed to do to become an independent person is communicated to us in various verbal and nonverbal ways. These rules and the rituals and rites that are required of kids aren't always communicated effectively and a thick air of mystery can envelope a teenager.
The photographer Alison Malone produced a series of photographs about the Masonic Youth organization, the Daughters of Job that explores this process by superimposing over it an organization that uses different rituals and rites to form its youths into adult leaders. Malone doesn't resort to displaying these girls as strange, she was once a Daughter of Job herself. The photographs of the meeting halls, the leaders, the various ritualistic items may seem foreign but the look, the essence Malone captures in her portraits of the girls is instantly familiar to anyone who ever looked in the mirror during puberty and wasn't quite sure who was looking back.
Malone's photographs evoke the eerie feeling of otherness, of strange in-betweenness that adolescence produces. But they also display the strength one requires to grow up.

Late Night Groove: Isley Brothers "Choosey Lover"

2010-03-05T01:48:00.000-05:00

It's almost two in the morning. I can't really listen to anything else.
"Sometimes, I just need to keep it mellow."--Guy who would describe himself as "chill."

(sorry it's just a video of the album cover)

Dilla Doc

2010-03-02T01:09:00.000-05:00

Okayplayer posted this short documentary about J Dilla a few days ago. It includes interviews with J. Rocc, Peanut Butter Wolf, Mayer Hawthorne, and more.

Stussy - J Dilla Documentary Prt3 (of 3) from Stussy on Vimeo.

You know, I'd really like to hear that original version of Donuts. I truly believe that that album is a feat of amazing skill and beauty. It's not just a beat tape but a collage of ideas, all realized in an interesting way. I don't think it's that far off from classic era Guided By Voices or Sebadoh in creating lo-fi, collage-like music that packs a lot of good music in as short a time as possible. To hear it as Dilla intended (a condensed, even more collaged recording) would be amazing.

One thing I didn't know about Dilla before this video was that he sampled Stereolab for Busta. The production is really good, even if Busta is lackluster.

And here's the song Dilla sampled:
Stereolab-Come and Play In the Milky Night

2010 just got a little less Tyra

2010-01-05T19:46:00.001-05:00

Hey, guys.
Sorry I haven't posted in a while. School/the holidays/laziness got in the way. I hope to start posting more soon. You know, before I inevitably stop posting again. If you miss me, I am on Twitter. I post music, videos, etc. like you'd get here. So there's that...

One thing I can't let pass by without comment is the cancellation of Tyra Bank's talk show. The Tyra show provided an amazing number of insane television moments over its run. It truly was gonzo daytime television at its best. Below is my favorite Tyra moment. The Tyra show will be missed.
Goodnight my sweet princess.

James Brown- Goodbye My Love
P.S. Buzzfeed has a great collection of clips and pictures that really shows just how insane and misguided the show is/was.
P.P.S. I still don't care that Oprah's going off the air.

Have you heard this band called The Beatles? I hear some people like their songs.

2009-10-05T10:14:00.000-04:00

The Beatles are the most popular band ever. Probably. What makes them so good is that all their recordings of their songs were definitive versions, you can't really improve on them. With the Beatles, there's no rescuing a song from obscurity because everyone knows all their songs by heart. So what do you do when you want to cover the Beatles? Well, I compiled some of my favorite Beatles covers so you can see how to do it right, Mr. Theoretical Person Who Wants to Cover the Beatles.

I Want to Hold Your Hand- Sparks
Sparks have been around since 1970. They've done art rock, chamber pop, glam rock, disco, dance, and just about every other major popular music form to develop since their formation. For their cover of "I Want to Hold Your Hand," a bonus track from 1975's Indiscreet, Sparks turns in a gossamer orchestral version full of swooping strings and honeyed background vocals in the style of the Philadelphia Sound. Sparks turns a bouncy pop number into a slice of pure pre-rock gold. It's a sly joke on the band that changed rock music and you might just miss it because it sounds so beautiful.

Oh! Darling- George Benson
In 1969, Jazz guitarist and vocalist George Benson recorded a version of the Beatles' Abbey Road. Released only a few months after the original album, Benson reimagines the Beatles' final album as a sprawling jazz opus. His take on "Oh! Darling" begins quietly with brushed drums, bluesy electric pianos, and near whispered vocals. Benson starts the song restrained, but as the horns play, he lets his vocals take a more prominent role before giving his guitar a lyrical solo and ending the song in an aching falsetto. Props must also go the Replacements, who incorporated "Oh!Darling" into their roaring, punky "Mr. Whirly."

Hey Jude- The Temptations
By 1969, The Temptations were trying to fit the new sound of psychedelic rock into their Motown R&B. The intro to their version of "Hey Jude" begins with a ragtime piano and adds a few guitars before putting in literal bells and whistles. The Temptations add a little swing into the time signature but keeps the music very based in rock music. Playing lines off of each other, for most of the song, the Temptations let out a display of vocal interplay during the iconic "na na na na" refrain that sounds like doo wop on fire.

Everybody's Got Something to Hide (Except for Me and My Monkey)- The Feelies
I don't know if the Feelies could play a song any other way but their way. So maybe their cover of "Everybody's God Something to Hide" is cheating. But The Feelies do turn the howling swagger of the Beatles' original into a nervous, fidgeting, light speed-spaz of a song. The Feelies' version of the song sounds like a paranoid fire station. But again, that's kind of how all their songs are.

Birthday feat. Esau Mwamwaya- The Ruby Suns
Last year, Malawi born British singer Esau Mwamwaya had a banner year. With the release of his mixtape with producer Radioclit as the Very Best, Mwamwaya reached international acclaim. This song, which is mostly a tropical, Panda Bear-esque, cover the verses with a new melody from Mwamwaya. There's a wide screen instrumental section before the first chorus and is truly great. If you ever need a song to soundtrack your birthday barbecue on a deserted island, this is that song.

You Can't Do That- Harry Nilsson
Harry Nilsson was John Lennon's favorite songwriter and the two were close friends. Shortly after the release of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Nilsson released this cheeky cover that references many other Beatles' songs in Nilsson's background vocals. The song is very relaxed allowing the joke to be played for maximum effect.

Here's some stuff guys

2009-09-29T00:03:00.001-04:00

(via My Parents Were Awesome)

I've been listening to Destroyer's new EP Bay of Pigs a whole lot. The title track is unbelievably gorgeous. The song is very long so I'm not going to post it, but here's a video of it.

Destroyer - Bay of Pigs
Uploaded by 0take99. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

These are my three favorite Lamebook entries. It's amazing just what people think is appropriate for a public forum.
1
2
3

This is from the the flickr pool. What I Wore Today. Every day, people draw pictures of what they wore. I guess I didn't need to explain it. It's a pretty cool thing I think.

This week on SNL, newcomer Jenny Slate performed in a skit she wrote. This is noteworthy because not only is it hard for new cast members to get sketches on the show but it is actually funny, which isn't the case for a lot of what gets put on that show.
Oh, also Miss Slate accidentally dropped an "f-bomb" during the sketch. Oops. Some people have noticed that.

Also in SNL news, Michaela Watkins is no longer on the show. That is disappointing.

Finally, here's an interesting article on symbolism in logos. It's cooler than I'm letting on.

Mr. Tom Waits Everybody

2009-09-22T15:47:00.000-04:00

Frank's Wild Years- Tom Waits
Blind Love- Tom Waits
Table Top Joe- Tom Waits

a small bonus:
Christmas Card From A Hooker In Minneapolis- Neko Case

I Am Still Me

2009-09-21T18:38:00.000-04:00

Then Anthony, as if from a shrine, came forth initiated in the mysteries and filled with the Spirit of God. For the first time he was seen outside the fort by those who came to see him. And they, when they saw him, wondered at the sight, for he had the same habit of body as before, and was neither fat, like a man without exercise, nor lean from fasting and striving with the demons, but he was just the same as they had known him before his withdrawal.

from Athanasius's Life of Saint Anthony

Dazzle Ships Dock Forever

2009-09-20T23:52:00.002-04:00

Dazzle camouflage did not hide a ship from enemies. Instead, it made it hard for enemies to gauge the speed of the ship as well as where it was heading. The purpose, therefore, was not to conceal but to confuse.I was asked to remove the files for these songs, so they link to YouTube videos of the songs. All are from OMD's album Dazzle Ships.
This is Helena- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Genetic Engineering- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
Silent Running- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

Mr. West Is in the Building, Swagger on a Hundred Thousand Trillion

2009-09-18T18:00:00.000-04:00

In this time when tempers are high, it's important not to lose track of the music.
Kinda Like a Big Deal- Clipse Feat. Kanye West
Half Price- Kanye West
Alright- Twista Feat. Kanye West
Girls Girls Girls (Remix)- Jay-Z Feat. Kanye West
Late- Kanye West
Apologize- Kanye West

Tomorrow Morning

2009-09-15T21:11:00.000-04:00

"We indulged in such luxuries as a baby and a trip to Europe, and always money seemed to come easier and easier with less and less effort, until we felt that with just a little more margin to come and go on, we could begin to save."

-F. Scott Fitzgerald in "How to Live on $36,000 a Year"

Nice Work if You Can Get It- Maxine Sullivan & Her Orchestra
Summer Wine- Lee Hazlewood & Nancy Sinatra
Modern Love- David Bowie

You Miss a Lot When You Don't Exist

2009-09-09T23:13:00.000-04:00

"There's lots you don't know. All kinds of things...mostly they happened before we were born: that makes them seem to me much more real."

Truman Capote's Other Voices, Other Rooms

Do It Again- Jane Russell
Tennessee Waltz- Patsy Cline
Whatever Will Be, Will Be- Doris Day

Simon Smith is One Lucky Boy, Maybe

2009-09-08T17:46:00.000-04:00

Gauls

2009-08-25T21:28:00.000-04:00

"But Daru had been born here. Everywhere else, he felt exiled."

from Camus's "The Guest."

Cybele's Reverie- Stereolab
Mon Manhge A Moi- Edith Piaf
Chick Habit- April March

Alone & Dethroned 7" Single

2009-08-23T22:18:00.001-04:00

This is a song I recorded in February and a remix of it I made a couple of days ago.
The A-side is suppose to be like listening to a New Order lullaby through a heavy blanket.
The B-side remix is equally inspired by Houston's DJ Screw and Cocteau Twins.
Track listing:
1. Alone & Dethroned
2. Alone & Dethroned (Remix)
Enjoy.

Upcoming Tour Dates

2009-08-16T14:46:00.000-04:00

The Fiery Furnaces: 08-23 Orlando, FL - The Social
The Pains of Being Pure at Heart: 09-27 Tallahassee, FL - Club Downunder
The Decemberists: 09-29 St. Augustine, FL - St. Augustine Amphitheater
Mayer Hawthorne: 10-07 Orlando, FL - The Social
David Bazan: 10-13 Orlando, FL - The Social
Leonard Cohen: 10-19 Tampa, FL - St. Pete Times Forum
AU and Why?: 11-03 Gainesville, FL - Common Grounds
The Mountain Goats and Final Fantasy: 11-24 St. Augustine, FL - Café 11

Les Paul is Dead

2009-08-13T14:30:00.000-04:00

Today is a "Sad Day."

Comedy is something you do with your body

2009-08-13T13:35:00.000-04:00

Here are two examples of funny things.
Fig. 1 "Intervention Intervention" starring Fred Armisen

Intervention Intervention with Fred Armisen from Fred Armisen

Fig. 2 "Opening monolouge from July 21, 2009" by Craig Ferguson

Here is an example of something that isn't funny.
Fig. 1 "Joke about Vanessa Hudgens" by Dane Cook

Are there any questions?

This Was Made By Adults

2009-08-09T13:57:00.000-04:00

What kind of world do we live in where two supposedly functioning professionals make something like this? The Suckman Cometh.

Let the Wild Rumpus Start!

2009-08-07T14:05:00.001-04:00

This new trailer for Where the Wild Things Are is ridiculously beautiful. I already had high hopes for this movie, but now they're even higher. Spike Jones and Dave Eggers really understand childhood. Speaking of Eggers, a couple of weeks ago I saw Away We Go, a movie he wrote with his wife, Vendela Vida, and it was really good. It is extremely different from director Sam Mendes's other couple-with-children movie, last year's brutal Revolutionary Road, but they both share the same sensitive camera work and deliberate pacing.

Also, I've been meaning to turn you guys on to We Love You So. We Love You So is a gorgeous blog started by the production staff behind Where the Wild Things Are. It is a perfect blog and every time I go to it, I see something marvelous.

Become a Mad Man

2009-08-07T03:39:00.001-04:00

When I watch Mad Men, a lot of the time I just admire their clothes. They just dress so nicely. Well, in preparation for its anticipated third season, the Mad Men website now has a feature so you can transform yourself into a character from the show. It's a really fun little thing and it is pretty cool to make yourself over in the fashions of the early '60s.
It's a lot cheaper than doing this in real life.

Pop No Pop

2009-08-06T13:14:00.001-04:00

More here.

"Everyone should know nowadays the unimportance
of the photographic in art: that truth, life, or reality is an
organic thing which the poetic imagination can represent or suggest,
in essence, only through transformation, through changing
into other forms than those which were merely present in appearance."

-Tennessee Williams

The Light of Love- Music Go Music
Lay All Your Love on Me- ABBA
Bizarre Love Triangle- New Order
Borderline- Madonna

Magnetic Miss Perry

2009-07-29T02:18:00.000-04:00

Mr. Merritt is a sucker for pretty pop songs and deadpan humor. Claudia Gonson, also of The Magnetic Fields, teases out a pretty rendition of Katy Perry's "Waking Up in Vegas," a thoroughly unremarkable piece of songwriting, while Merritt casts off his lines like someone who really is waking up from a rough night in Vegas, crank and not in the mood for this song.

Lonely Kids

2009-07-27T20:48:00.000-04:00

(More here.)

Milkey Wave Goodbye- Memory Cassette

I Just Wasn't Made for These Times- The Beach Boys

In My Lonely Room- The Larks

2009-07-23T13:14:00.000-04:00

Every nail, claw-scale and spur, every spike
and welt on the hand of that heathen brute
was like barbed steel. Everybody said
there was no honed iron hard enough
to pierce him through, no time proofed blade
that could cut his brutal blood caked claw

Petroleum- The Boo Radleys
Walkabout- Atlas Sound feat. Panda Bear

Michael and Michael Have Issues

2009-07-23T12:20:00.000-04:00

I was too young to see MTV's sketch comedy show The State, but since it just came out on DVD, maybe I'll rectify that. However, I was old enough to watch and appreciate the work of Stella and Reno 911, two shows made up of State alumni as well as their movie, Wet Hot American Summer. Stella members Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, minus third Stella member (and my personal favorite, David Wain) have a new show on Comedy Central called Michael and Michael Have Issues.

Michael & Michael Have Issues

Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c

The Farting Butterfly Sketch

www.comedycentral.com

Joke of the Day

Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games

MMHI is a sketch comedy show with a narrative framework. That narrative framework is the behind the scenes adventures of a sketch comedy show called Michael and Michael Have Issues. The actual sketches on the show are shown from the show within the show and at times during episodes Michael and Michael address the live audience of the show within the show.

Last night, the second episode premiered and it was pretty good. So was the first episode. The show is pretty heavy on the behind the scenes stuff but it's just as funny as any of the real sketches. The comedy style is a little different from Stella, as Black and Showalter do not attempt to get laughs from poor acting and use less conceptual jokes.
This is the begining of episode two.

Michael & Michael Have Issues

Premieres Wed, July 15, 10:30pm / 9:30c

Preview - Biederman's Birthday Present

www.comedycentral.com

Joke of the Day

Stand-Up Comedy

Free Online Games

I think Michael and Michael has a lot of promise. However, not every piece is excellent. One of the big sketches this week, Gift Giving through History, was kind of meh while the other, Bill the Quiet Weatherman, was really good. The narrative plots are also amusing, though none of the jokes from those sections of the show have made me laugh very hard. MMHI still has five more episodes left in its first season and I have high hopes for it.
Michael and Michael airs on Comedy Central Wednesdays at 10:30 p.m. Black twitters here and Showalter twitters here.

Downtown Disco Breakdown

2009-07-21T12:06:00.000-04:00

More here

Fullness of Wind- Brian Eno

Rufus Wainwright Documentary

2009-07-14T12:34:00.000-04:00

The BBC produced a documentary about Rufus Wainwright and his new opera Prima Donna. Wainwright's music is full of clear, soaring melodies that seem just as suited for opera as they are for pop music.

New Old Kanye West Video

2009-05-07T19:46:00.000-04:00

This is a video for Kanye West's "Two Words" from The College Dropout. West says the video was never aired on TV because of it was modeled to resemble the closing of a TV show.

Eff Yes!

2009-03-25T18:22:00.000-04:00

The Spike Jonze Where the Wild Things Are adaptation has had a troubled and well documented production, but it finally has a trailer, which means it is for real coming out! The fact that it looks awesome is great news as well. View the trailer (and download it for your iPod to show random strangers on the street) here.

Also, I want to share with you King Khan and the Shrines. King Khan is a real wild thing (see what I did there?) who plays a Velvet Underground and James Brown influenced garage-soul that is totally rad and infectious. There last album came out in Germany a few years ago and it's finally getting an American release pretty soon. I saw these guys live a little bit ago and they were absolutely phenomenal. Here's some songs:
I Wanna Be a Girl- this is my very favorite song on the album. It's kind of an anthem for guys who really really admire women.
Welfare Bread- Another great song. Khan wants you to chill out and relax. The government's going to take care of everything.
69 Faces of Love- This is a love song. This is a love song? It sure is pretty, and a little swoony even. Khan even works in some real '60s-styled psychedelia for good measure.

Dead Mellotron

2009-03-22T17:41:00.000-04:00

Dead Mellotron is this kid from Louisiana who makes pretty great pseudo-psychadelic ambient pop music. Waves of distortion and reverb and pretty melodies buried under this mountain of sound. He reminds me a little of Atlas Sound covering Jesus and Mary Chain (this is lazy critisism). You can download his ep which includes a cover of my beloved Beach House's "Salt Water" at his MySpace. It's worth it.

Guess What Guys?

2009-03-05T01:04:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about Meredith Vieira again, folks. I think it started when she was on the last part of 30 Rock last week when it hit me; I just don't hate her the same way I used to. It's not that she's changed, I just think we've both done some growing up and we're growing apart. It's not like I still won't be overtaken by a rage every time I see her, but things aren't the same between us anymore. I just feel like I need to move on to someone new, someone who fits my life, who reflects where I am now as a person.
So I am hereby moving my irrational anger onto another pop culture figure...DJ Khaled (real name. Khaled Khaled), the man most well known for taking those annoying DJ shoutouts from free mixtapes and putting them all over his albums that feature more than his fair share of moderately popular hip-hop figure.
I guess I could live with that if he produced all the songs on his album, I mean that's what DJs do right? Instead, he just puts on a couple of his own decent beats and then shoves a bunch of generic numbers from other producers and before letting his famous friends rap all over them. He doesn't do anything but shout, right? Which is really annoying, right? He keeps saying he's the best, but he's pretty much the worst. Here's some videos so I don't end up yelling on a steet corner:

Notice how Khaled does pretty much nothing on these songs but shout at the beginning. I checked Wikipedia, and he produces neither of these songs. So why are they his songs? Why is he mugging all over the videos? Why does he include himself in "We the Best?" Shouldn't he be saying, "they the best?" Because he isn't doing anything to be included in bestness. Yet his ego is huge. Therefore I hate him. I'm sorry Meredith, I hope things work out for you in the end.
No I don't.
I didn't know how much I'd miss her till she was gone...
Oh well, life goes on.

J Dilla

2009-02-25T21:32:00.001-05:00

This month marks the third anniversary of the death of James Yancey. Known as Jay Dee or J Dilla, Yancey was a prominent hip-hop producer from Detroit. Considered one of the greatest producers of all time, Yancey left behind an exceptional body of work. To me, Yancey represents the transcendence of listening to music. He was a great musician-- consistently inventive and all-around impressive.
Here is a nice essay about Yancey from last year.
Some of my favorite Dilla produced tracks:
1. "Runnin'" by the Pharcyde
This is an extended mix of a song from the Labcabincalifornia album and was one of Dilla's first big songs. The introduction of horns late in the song just really makes it.
2. "Can't You See" by J Dilla
Dilla's probably best known for flipping old samples to make amazing beats, and he strikes absolute gold on this song from the mini-album Jay Love Japan. Dilla breathes new life into an old soul song and it's just beautiful.
3. "Wild" by J Dilla
This song is a bonus track from the re-release of the EP Ruff Draft. Released shortly after Dilla was dropped by MCA and originally released on a small German label only on vinyl, this EP is probably one of the best things he ever released. Made to sound like it was recorded on cassette tape, the album has a wholey unique feeling that created an almost grimey atmosphere. The song wild itself is built on a sample of a kid singing the Slade song "Cum on Feel the Noise" and utilizes bizzare, off-tempo drums. Dilla was hardly as good an emcee as producer, but his music is so good that all a rapper really has to do is ride the beat to make the song enjoyable.
4. "Think Twice" by Jay Dee
This song comes from Dilla's first solo album, Welcome 2 Detroit which functioned as a showcase for his hometown talent. The album was released before he changed his name to J Dilla in order to avoid being confused with Jermaine Dupri, which is something no one wants. The song has a short vocal part before segueing into an extended intstrumental section that creates an exceptional groove. And then there's a shoot out. I guess that's just Detroit for you.
5. "Hold Tight (Featuring Q-Tip)" by Slum Village
Now here's the previously mentioned Slum Village. Dilla joined Slum Village while he was still in high school and functioned as their producer as well as an emcee. The production is warm and tight, but the rapping is sub-par, even my beloved Q-Tip isn't entirely on point. But like I've said, the rapping doesn't even matter that much when the beat's from J Dilla.
6. "Time: The Donut of the Heart" by J Dilla
This instrumental comes from my favorite Dilla release, Donuts. Released three days after his death, Donuts is Dilla's masterpiece. Every beat on the album is perfect and this is just one I like a whole bunch.
7. "The Red" by Jaylib
Jaylib's Champion Sound is a collaborative album between Dilla and producer/rapper Madlib. For the album, Dilla and Madlib rapped over each other's beats. "The Red" is one of the stand outs mostly due to Dilla's superb production.
8. "Whip You with a Strap" by Ghostface Killah
From Ghost's album Fishscale, "Whip You with a Strap" is based off of the Donuts track "One for Ghost." Ghost does a really good job on this track and whole thing just comes together perfectly with Ghost rapping about his childhood to a nostalgia-tinged beat that's textbook melancholy.
9. "Untitled Instrumental" by Jay Dee
This unreleased beat takes a sample from James Brown's "It's a Man's Man's Man's World." Dilla characteristically takes this it and turns it into something that only he could: a completely independent and satisfying beat.
10. "Fall in Love" by Slum Village
"Fall in Love," from the the Fantastic, Vol. 2 album, is just an amazing song. The warm, crackling production sounds alot like being in love, the Village stays subdued and just rides Dilla's great, almost sentimental beat all the way to heaven.
11. "Lightworks (Featuring Q-Tip and Talib Kweli)" by Busta Rhymes
This song comes from the mixtape Dilligence on which Busta Rhymes raps over exclusively Dilla beat. "Lightworks" is a beat that comes, again, from Donuts. Tip is passable and Talib is pretty great, but Busta's verse is nuts, it's just hand's down great. This beat's great because it takes probably the most out of nowhere sample and makes it amazingly infectious. MF Doom (now known as DOOM) is using this same beat for a song on his new album, however it's just not as good as Busta's stream of consciousness riffing and his creepy, creepy laugh.

So these songs are just an introduction to the rewarding work of James Yancey, if you like them keep digging deeper.

My Favorite Song From 2008

2009-02-08T21:27:00.000-05:00

Grouper- Heavy Water/I'd Rather Be Sleeping

OMG! Christian Bale Freaks Out! Again!

2009-02-03T20:23:00.000-05:00

So I guess you guys remember when Christian Bale was arrested for yelling at his mother and sister? Right? It was kind of a big deal because the Dark Knight was coming out. Remember how everyone was all like, "What? You can get arrested in the UK for yelling at someone? That's insane!"? Or was that just me? It might have been just me.
Anyway, this audio of Bale on the set of the new Terminator movie has been making the rounds and if he freaked on his mom and sister like this, then gosh, maybe he should have gone to jail.

So that's pretty crazy, right? I know! And what's up with that wacky "accent" when he speaks all angry like that?
Now that that's out of the way, I can get to what makes this the best thing ever (part 453):
The dance remix!

[via the Hater]
Genius! Pure, unadulterated genius! This is why Web 2.0 was a good idea. Yeah there are a lot of bad Sufjan Stevens covers, but this totally makes up for all that.
Also, there is an mp3.
Lucian Piane- Christian Bale Freaks Out (The Techno Jock Jamz Remix 4 Life!)

Casting a Pall Over the Last Few Weeks

2009-02-02T22:33:00.000-05:00

The Silver Jews broke up. This is really sad. They are/were so great. I wil memorialize this the only way I know how:
:(<-that is as big as blogger lets me put the text. Otherwise, that frown emoticon would be fifty times bigger. This is a video of them playing "Smith and Jones Forever" from their last show ever at the Cumberland Caverns (that's right, in a cave) :
The Silver Jews are dead, long live the Silver Jews!

RPM 2009

2009-02-02T15:02:00.000-05:00

This month is Record Production Month. During the month of February, people all over the world will be recording their own albums.
From the official site:

• Ten songs or 35 minutes of recorded material, on a CD, mailed or hand-delivered by noon on March 1 (since March 1 is a Sunday, items mailed on March 1 will receive a March 2 postmark, which is acceptable). Make at least two copies, one to send to RPM HQ here:
RPM HQ
10 Vaughan Mall, Suite 1
Portsmouth, NH 03801
USA

...and then the second copy is for your regional listening party, if you plan to attend one. Listening party details will be announced soon!

• Recording can only be done in the month of February – no prerecorded songs.

• All material must be previously unreleased, and we encourage you to write the material during February too.

So, if you're so inclined, you should probably do this. I may post mine at the end of the month, but it's up in the air. Remember, it's ten songs OR 35 minutes, so you could do a bunch of really short things. Or you could just record some stories and not even bother with music (this is called spoken word). Really, it's whatever you want to do. You can sign up at the site.

Family Fun Video Time

2009-01-30T01:00:00.000-05:00

Family Fun Video Time is a feature here at The Art Retard where I post two videos that are so for the kids. So gather the family around the computer and push play.

Greetings everyone! And welcome to another installment of Family Fun Video Time, the Art Retard feature that is totally for the children, much like the Wu-Tang Clan. In this edition, we'll be looking at two video that have to do with having fun and playing around with your friends.

The first video is a trailer for a new movie by Sal Lupo that looks like it's going to be the big family blockbuster event of the year. Pop some popcorn, get some Kool-Aid Jammers, and push the happy sideways triangle!

Doesn't that just look heartwarming?
Our next video is about brothers and sisters and jealousy. Have you ever been jealous of your sibling? It's normal to feel jealous when others get the attention we seek, but it's important not to act out and lash out in anger. This video deals with a constructive way for you to let out your frustration with no longer being the center of attention.

Well I hope everyone enjoyed this week's Family Fun Video Time. Be sure to come around next week for more wholesome stories of love and friendship. In the meantime, have some great adventures!

This New Julie Doiron Song is Great

2009-01-28T13:39:00.000-05:00

This is the first song to be released from Julie Doiron's new solo album I Can Wonder What You Did With Your Day. I've been listening to it for a while, and I just can't get enough of it. Doiron is lyrically on point and the harmonies are super catchy and addictive. Also, fuzz bass!
Julie Doiron- Consolation Prize
I Can Wonder What You Did With Yoyr Day comes out March 10th on Jagjaguwar.

Kanye West Louis Vuitton Shoe!

2009-01-26T14:24:00.001-05:00

This is a shoe Kanye West designed for Louis Vuitton. West says that it was inspired by the movie Dune. I think it's pretty swank but I prefer the blue ones. Probably not worth the money it costs though...

Everybody's Talkin'

2009-01-26T14:02:00.000-05:00

(American Elf)

Smog- You Moved In
Spacemen 3- Walkin' with Jesus

Should I See Benjamin Button?

2009-01-25T14:41:00.000-05:00

Have you guys heard of the movie The Curious Case of Benjamin Button? I think it used to be a TV show or something, man Hollywood doesn't have any original ideas, am I right? Anyway, it just got a metric butt load of Oscar nominations, so I guess that means it's amazing, right? So I should see it right? Then I saw this video and I was convinced that it has to be the Movie of Our Time.

The Curious Case of Forrest Gump - watch more funny videos

New Andrew Kenny

2009-01-25T14:35:00.001-05:00

Andrew Kenny, the songwriter behind Austin, Texas's amazing American Analog Set, has a new band called the Wooden Birds. Of course, they sound a lot like AmAnSet. However, gone are the farfisa organs, the vibraphones, extended drones, and space echo guitar. The Wooden Birds are more acoustic and percussive. But it's Andrew Kenny, so feel lucky that you're getting it because the man is gold.
Visit their myspace here.

Sup?

2009-01-25T13:56:00.000-05:00

Hey Y'all, been a while, hasn't it? During the holidays I went a little crazy and after my mom coaxed me off the roof, I decided to give the blog a break. The writing just wasn't up to snuff for a blog with the audience of at most two people. Either I have to go big, or I have to go back to posting the same post on the walls of everyone of my facebook friends.
If you're reading this, I want to thank you because instead of doing something constructive with your time, or at least reading Stereogum, you've chosen to read this self indulgent apology, so big ups to you!

That said, almost a month ago I promised to tell you what I thought the album of 2008 was. Now this is not "the best" or "the most successful" or "my favorite". This the album that I feel encapsulates the year that was the best. That said, this is definitely in my top five for the year.
So without further delay, my pick for the album of the year is....

...Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak.
First, I don't care that the whole thing is sung in autotune. People care way too much about autotune anyway. Autotune works amazingly well on the album.
West created one of the most emotionally vulnerable albums of the year full of messy emotions and then put it to the most robotic and unsympathetic music of his career. On top of that, he has obscured his voice with autotune, reverb, and distortion. It's as if West is using autotune to metaphorically fix all the sloppy experiences of the past year simply by fixing his voice. It's as if he wants to become a robot so he can purge himself of his emotions. West uses autotune as a way of numbing the sentiment and distancing himself from the events that inspired the album.
This would all be unimportant if the production wasn't pretty much spotless and the songs for the most part were pretty good. "Streetlights" and "Paranoid" do stand out as the best. "Bad News," "Say You Will," "Coldest Winter," and "Welcome to Heartbreak" can also be considered successful to some degree or another. These songs are all able to evocatively evoke West's depression without ever falling into cliche. However the singles, though catchy, don't really hold as much weight on the album. And on an album that is so singularly West's, the guest verses from Young Jeezy and Lil' Wayne drag down their respective songs. Neither one of them can muster anything that nears the universality of West's. The only song on the album though that could be considered completely unsuccessful is "RoboCop." I don't even want to write about that song. Though it's much better than an earlier leaked version, the strings on the verses and the extended outro are completely unnecessary. This song does incapsilate some of the albums themes-- 80s referencing production and an emotionless "robotic" subject.
With all this said, every time I listen to this song, I'm completely lost in this little world of ice West has built. Past all the bravado, past the materialism, the leering, the "I am voice of this or that," is a sensitive young man who has put together the most emotionally rich album of his career, if not the best.
Released in the midst of an extended national hangover, with so many people feeling pinched economically and apprihesive about the future, 808s and Heartbreak may be one man's story emotional breakdown, but it serves as the soundtrack of a wider national meltdown that effects every one of us.
This is why I have chosen it as the album of the year for 2008.

I Just Want to Get This Best Albums of the Year Thing Done.

2008-12-28T08:43:00.000-05:00

I realized it would be exhausting to write up all the really good stuff I heard this year. Also, I am unbelievably lazy. So besides the Silver Jews and Magnetic Fields, here were the best I heard:
Beach House- Devotion
Beach House- Gila
More droney, pretty organ pop from one of the best young bands around.
Bonnie "Prince" Billy- Lie Down in the Light
Bonnie "Prince" Billy- So Everyone (Demo)
People flipped for Fleet Foxes, yet pretty much slept on this album. Yeah, they're different, but they both explore old Americana styles. Billy just doesn't feel like he has to sound like My Morning Jacket.
Deerhunter- Microcastle

Atlas Sound- Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See but Cannot Feel
Atlas Sound- River Card
Even with its ambient/computer instrumental bits, the album is an honest work with great songs. And really, if you don't like the instrumentals, there's always the Deerhunter album.
The Walkmen- You & Me

Unlike everyone else, I liked A Hundred Miles Off. I like this subdued, less messy album a lot, too.
Unicornicopia- Grace, You're a Dear
Unicornicopia- Before There Were Oceans
A one woman musical about Jesus, heartbreak, and laying in bed with your mom when you're sick.
of Montreal- Skeletal Lamping
of Montreal- Id Engager
A brilliant album that pushes of Montreal's aesthetic to its edge and intersperses ear worm choruses, noise, and sex into one day glow dance party.
My Morning Jacket- Evil Urges
My Morning Jacket- Touch Me, I'm Going to Scream Pt. 2
Lots of people found this album bland, but I found the mix of country rock, Prince, and straight up pop hard to resist.
Murs- Sweet Lord (I have Murs for President, I just haven't listened to it yet)
Click here for the whole album
I love Murs. I love 9th Wonder. They get together for a FREE album that is on par with 3:16 and Murray's Revenge. The summerest of albums.
Micah P. Hinson- Micah P. Hinson And The Red Empire Orchestra
Micah P. Hinson- We Won't Have to Be Lonesome
Hinson is amazing. I don't really know what to say about this album, I guess just listen to it. New Country Romantic.

Stay tuned because later I'll share my pick for album of the year.

Family Fun Video Time

2008-12-28T08:06:00.000-05:00

Family Fun Video Time is a feature here at The Art Retard where I post two videos that are so for the kids. So gather the family around the computer and push play.

This video has been one of the top memes of 2008 and is terrifying/hilarious. It's a video about a touching moment between a young girl and her grandfather. Family values!

I'm crying!
The next video:
This video is about justice! And physics! Also, it is history on the internet.

Have a great day!

New Digital Pimp Comic

2008-12-28T07:48:00.000-05:00

The Digial Pimps have too many good comics. Now they have a new one based on the lives of people who "act" in video games. It's kind of like a way more realistic ReBoot. I've hesitated to post it even though the first couple of strips were really strong because it's still finding its footing. However, this week's strip is pretty spot on and quite appropriate considering my audience of one (maybe two?). Here it is (click to expand):

I've been an avid reader of Joe Loves Crappy Movies for a couple of years, so I'm pretty excited to see how this turns out.

Seriously Awesome

2008-12-23T05:36:00.000-05:00

Rivers Cuomo of Weezer covers what is probably the best song about teenage racing ever, with an a capella group.

"Don't Worry Baby" is Brian Wilson showing Phil Spector what's up-- all swooning teenage love, tight harmonies, and wall of sound. Pretty much whenever vintage Brian Wilson sang a high note, someone somewhere would cry for joy.
The Beach Boys- Don't Worry Baby

I Don't Know What These Are

2008-12-20T10:54:00.000-05:00

but they're great.

What's That?

2008-12-19T12:04:00.000-05:00

It's of Montreal on Letterman!

Pretty swank I'd say, if we weren't comunicating through letters.

Best Albums of 2008 Part 2: Look Out Mountain, Look Out Sea by Silver Jews

2008-12-19T10:07:00.000-05:00

Probably the best thing I discovered this year was the Silver Jews. I'd always been aware of them as attached to Pavement, but I'd never listened to them. It's a good thing then, that I downloaded their song "What is Not but Could Be If". It's a song of beginnings and wonder that hit me while lots of other people were catching Hope Fever. The albums sound is what I would call country, but others would probably disagree. You decide.
Vote or die.
Anyway, the whole album is about drawing a parallel between young people in 1914 and the youth of today. Lead Jew David Berman has said in interviews that this is the first album he has written for younger people. Taking this into account, it's easy to see why some longtime fans were disappointed with this album, however I, being devoid of the baggage of history and context, find it really, really, enjoyable. Which is strange, since this is an album about context and history.
I've since listened to all their other albums and still like this one a lot, for whatever that's worth.
Also, seeing the Jews live was amazing. I can't really explain it. David Berman is a definite hero of mine. Screw Malkmus. Not really, because if I had decided to download Real Emotional Trash, it would probably be on this "list" too.
The Silver Jews- Strange Victory, Strange Defeat

Some Stuff

2008-12-18T00:51:00.000-05:00

Wu-Tang Clan are playing Plush in Jacksonville on January 14.
Wu-Tang Clan- C.R.E.A.M.
Morrissey is playing the Florida Theatre in Jacksonville on March 3.
Morrissey- First of the Gang to Die
Pretty exciting!

Here's a for no reason video of Jorma Taccone (of the Lonely Island and the SNL Digital Shorts) dancing to the Arcade Fire in front of... the Arcade Fire:

New Stuff!!

2008-12-17T22:22:00.000-05:00

Haven't posted in a few days.
I'm really sorry about that.
Not really though.

******

Guess what!
The Office's Mindy Kaling is in a new web series called "House Poor" where she tries to fill her new house with free stuff. Here's the first (and so far only) episode:

Wasn't that just swell?
Anyway, Kaling also has a shopping blog that at least one of you will enjoy. Scope that thing here.
I'm going to write more stuff soon maybe.

Let's Catch Up

2008-12-13T15:09:00.001-05:00

This is the book that I am reading right now.

Also, I won't post the two songs that have leaked from the new Animal Collective album in the last month, because of the Web Sheriff , however "Brothersport" and "My Girls" are both amazing and you should track them down/e-mail me.

Pretty Awesome

2008-12-13T01:05:00.000-05:00

Album covers made with Legos

The Beatles- I'm Only Sleeping

The Velvet Underground- I'll Be Your Mirror

Mo rrissey- Irish Blood, English Heart

Belle & Sebastian- If You're Feeling Sinister

Here's a Christmas Present

2008-12-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

You can download a mini-album I made over the summer here. Five CD-R copies were made for a short set I played Jacksonville for an arts festival. Otherwise, this is the only way to hear it.

Hey Y'all, What's Up?

2008-12-11T09:37:00.001-05:00

Finished with exams. Going to sleep. Like sentences with the subjects cut off.
World Peace?

Elvis Costello- You Little Fool
This song was stuck in my head during breakfast. Hope you like it.

Best Albums of 2008 Part 1: Distortion by The Magnetic Fields

2008-12-09T21:31:00.000-05:00

This year, Stephin Merritt released his best album since 69 Love Songs. Taking on the sound of the Jesus and Mary Chain, Merritt has cloaked his witty pop songs in waves of distortion. It works surprisingly well and the album sounds wonderful. The uniform sound and length (all the songs are around three minutes) gives the album a nice sense of cohesion. But none of this would matter if the songs weren't so good.
Granted, any album Merritt released would most likely end up on this list of the year's best albums, but it makes it so much sweeter that this album is so good.

The Magnetic Fields- Drive On, Driver
The Magnetic Fields- Zombie Boy

Things I Will Never Care About

2008-12-09T16:59:00.000-05:00

MTV Shows

I've only watched about thirty minutes of The Hills, but these two people were my least favorite. By "least favorite" I mean "The two people who make the rest of the cast seem like Mensa members by comparison". Don't they know everyone else on Earth finds them insufferable? I suppose they will after they read this. Maybe then Whitney and Brody will go into a deep depression when they realize the only reason anyone tolerates them is because of the cameras. Maybe this depression will force them to quit their shows. I guess that means I'm doing everyone in the world a favor by posting this. I know it might be a little premature, but I guess that makes me an American Hero.

Anyway, these are two things I will never care about.

Fake Twitters

2008-12-09T00:52:00.000-05:00

There's apparently been someone Twittering as Kanye West when she obviously isn't.
Should I start an Art Retard fake Twitter? I'd be behind it, but I'd post fake updates. Is this an interesting concept? Could it get me into the Guggenheim Museum?

Should I Send Rough Trade My Demo?

2008-12-08T20:51:00.000-05:00

I want to make a name for myself. I want to be a part of something big. That's why I think I should send Rough Trade Records my demo. With music, it's important to have your stuff heard. It's more important to have it heard by the right people. I just want to let people express themselves by putting my songs on mix CDs for their crushes.

Family Fun Video Time

2008-12-08T19:37:00.000-05:00

Family Fun Video Time is a new feature here at The Art Retard. This post is dedicated to two extremely family friendly videos I saw today.

The first video is a teaser trailer for a new documentary about every young child's favorite rapper, Lil' Wayne (whaaat??) coming out next year. Basically, Wayne talks, barely coherent, over concert footage and then a song plays. I will still probably watch this. Does this make me a bad person? Hmm? Why won't you look at me?

The next video is a Lonely Island music video that was on SNL this week (Love you Johny Malkovich!) for a song called "Jizz in My Pants." Call the kids in!

Okay, I know this means I'm not an adult if I laugh at this and that the government will take away my right to vote, but gosh dang it, I just can't help it. I think I might enroll in a rehab course to deal with this problem. Immaturity is an addiction, just like anti-Semitism and being a gay pastor. I wonder if I can get credit towards my degree if I go to rehab?

People Gettin' Angry, Yo

2008-12-06T13:40:00.000-05:00

null - Watch more free videos

Why do people get angry on the TV? Don't they know everyone's going to hear them and they'll be fired/have to make an apology/ have to go to rehab? If I ever meet Meredith Vieira and we just happen to be on national television, you can bet I would (probably try to) keep my cool.

Best Thing In The World Right Now

2008-12-04T20:39:00.000-05:00

Tobias Jones wants to store your crap in huge trucks outside his warehouse. Seriously, anything you need to have stored, he'll store it and he means business, just look at this ad.

Here's his website. It's great.

Now that you've laughed a bunch check out the sketch comedy group that put this together.

Here's another video from the same group:

Animal Collective

2008-12-04T15:43:00.000-05:00

Animal Collective are set to release their new album early next year but they're already back in the studio recording another album that was conceived as part of a collaborative film with Danny Perez, who directed this great Animal Collective video:

Read the whole story here.

Umm I have an idea...

2008-12-04T15:04:00.000-05:00

To help me further understand why I hate Meredith Vieira, I have asked my roommate Dan to contact esteemed scholar Horstense Adams. He sent her my original post and got this reply:

"Men Hate Real Women"
By Hortense Adams, B.A. Smith College, M.A. Wesley, Germain Greer Distinguished Professor of Faux-Lesbian Literature at Sarah Lawerence

You detest Meredith Vieira so much simply because you are afraid of a powerful woman who doesn't feel the need to prove herself to you (a white male with red hair to boot!) Vieira (yes her name is spelled V-I-E-I-R-A but you misspell her name one time in your post as a means of subjugation! evil white male!) gives what many MEN call "soft" interviews. Maybe because she believes the world isn't a cesspool of violence and corruption. Why is it whenever a woman is kind and agreeable she's labled passive and weak? If Vieira went after juglars every morning you'd call her a monster, wouldn't you??( those two question marks mean hostility! White men can never pick up on subtlty)
Vieira doesn't bother with slut skirts like Diane Sawyer or dye her hair slut blonde like Barbara Walters. That's another reason you don't like her. You can't understand the beauty of a woman who chooses to age naturally and act appropriately. It's all bimbos and boobs for you!
- Hortense Adams

Why do I dislike Meredith Vieira so much?

2008-12-04T14:47:00.000-05:00

It's not that she's done anything to me or I've found anything she's done offensive. It's just she sits on the Today Show and does stupid, stupid interviews like this one

and this one

It's pandering, mindless stuff and I just hate her for doing them with a smile on her face. Where's her sense of shame? Doesn't she know what she's doing is completely inane?
I guess I can't expect her to be remorseful for the vomit she calls journalism, I mean she used to be on the View.
Even so, this really isn't enough for me to dislike her as much as I do. Why has Meredith Vieira (Edit: touche Mrs. Adams) inspired such animosity in me when more important things like war and Darfur haven't? It seems really small of me and really pathetic and I know I have no good reason to, but I just can't help it.
I hate Meredith Vieira.

Happy Birthday to Twilight Moms

2008-12-02T14:43:00.000-05:00

The website Twilight Moms just celebrated its first birthday, so big ups to them for bringing their own brand of weird to the internet. From their about section, "Have you imagined your husband is a vampire (or werewolf) and suddenly have the libido of newlywed again?" The hand that rocks the cradle indeed.

This video is awesome

2008-12-02T14:23:00.001-05:00

I can't stop laughing at this video of the Vivian Girls. If I got hurt one person with out repercussion it would not be Vincent Gallo, but if there were two...

Vivian Girls: Bring it On.

Vivian Girls- Tell the World
This is a great song by the Vivian Girls from their self titled album. Kind of creepy

The Soft Boys- I Want to Destroy You
Summing up what the Vivian Girls want to do to Vincent Gallo

Sufjan Stevens- The Vivian Girls Are Visited In The Night By Saint Dargarius And His Squadron Of Benevolent Butterflies
Just because.

Paste interviews Nina Twin

2008-12-02T13:32:00.000-05:00

Paste Magazine interviews Nina Barnes, the wife of of Montreal's Kevin Barnes, here.

The Byrds- "The Christian Life"

2008-11-27T13:53:00.000-05:00

I've been absolutely obsessed with this Byrds cover of the old Louvin Brothers song "The Christian Life." I don't really know why-- maybe its the harmonies, or the Clarence White guitar-- but I just can't get enough of it.

The Byrds- "The Christan Life"

Burberry Prorsum Jacket

2008-11-27T13:03:00.000-05:00

This jacket from the new Burberry collection is pretty swank. There's some other really cool pieces in the collection, so check it out.

A Tribe Called Quest's " Bonita Applebum"

2008-11-24T15:26:00.000-05:00

This song is classic, so there really is nothing to discuss. That doesn't change how good this song is.

Common's "New Wave"

2008-11-24T14:44:00.000-05:00

The song "New Wave" from Common's Electric Circus is really crazy and really great. Produced by ?uestlove of the Roots, J Dilla, and keyboardist James Poyser, it features the odd choice of Laetitia Sadier from the French Structuralist pop group Stereolab singing the hook. Common raps over a minor key piano, haunted house organs, and some sci-fi synths before Sadier comes in with pretty, sunny hook creating a strange disconnect between the two pieces, but upon repeat listens, they merge into a great piece of pop.
Common- New Wave

Bonus:
Common- Come Close
This is the first Common song I ever heard and instantly fell for it. The song features Mary J. Blidge on the hook.
Stereolab- Ping Pong
A great song that sarcastically deals with the cyclical view of war in history.